It’s been quite some time now since that magical day when my life changed for better and for worse. For better because I felt absolutely amazing – like a brand new person. For worse though, because (1) I kicked myself for all of the wasted time in my life when I didn’t feel this way and (2) I had just picked up a very expensive addiction.
I’m talking of course, about my first truly great massage experience. Note to Sickos: This blog is rated PG, so I’m not talking about that kind of experience…
I had had massages here and there in the past – mostly through gift certificates from others and occasionally as a splurge for myself. These were the massages where the “therapist” would put on some New Age music, light a candle, then use lavender-patchouli-orange blossom essential oil that is supposed to calm and soothe me. Looking back now, I realize that these massages weren’t actually worth the money – that dull ache I typically get in my upper back would come back after only a few days, or in some cases a few hours.
Fast forward to a weekend trip I took in January. A friend and I went to an average-looking place where we handed over our money and waited to be kneaded, prodded, and relaxed into oblivion.
The first thing I noticed when the therapist started working on me was that she skipped all the typical cooing and purring about relaxation, and went straight for the jugular – literally. Between pinching, poking, and rolling my neck and the back of my skull, she had me wincing in what I can only describe as excruciating bliss. From there she continued the torture on the left side of my body for the next 30 minutes or so, with a repetitive cycle of my muscles chanting “Hurt!! – Ok… – Ahhhhhhhhh”
She explained to me that she was a medical massage therapist trained in Neuromuscular Therapy and Trigger Point Therapy (a type of NMT). These techniques isolate muscle groups from head to toe and specifically target the muscles that are tense or misaligned, which usually do NOT coincide with where your back actually hurts. This is where I had gone wrong in the past – I pointed to a specific spot that was causing me aches and pains, they rubbed my back in that exact spot.
When she was done with the left side, I could actually feel my blood circulating on the side of the body she had just finished – my fingers felt tingly, my neck and shoulder didn’t feel hunched up anymore, and I felt like, if called upon to do so, I could do one-armed push-ups all day long. She continued in the same manner on the right side of my body for the remainder of the hour until I felt like I was made out of brand new rubber bands. Highly elastic rubber bands floating on air. Air in Heaven. I felt amazing.
It’s at this point that I should note that even massage therapy has its controversies. From my later research (read: Googling the words “massage toxins”), the whole idea of toxins being released into your body during a massage is debatable – some will swear that it does not happen. Let me clear up this debate: I was 100% swimming in toxins when I left that place. I had a metallic taste in my mouth that wouldn’t go away, my eyes were puffy, and I felt positively loopy. My friend had the exact same type of massage, and the exact same type of reaction. We wobbled home and melted into the couch for about the next 2 hours, drinking as much water as possible.
To make a long story short, this massage changed my life. The loopy feeling eventually went away (I think?), leaving me with a supreme sense of relaxation and a little bit of (good) soreness the next day. For the first time that I could remember, I was insanely jealous of people with way more money than I who could afford this type of treatment as often as they liked. For that day though, and for the next few weeks, I felt like I was living that way. A taste of the good life, so to speak, which – oddly enough – tasted like the inside of a well-seasoned cast iron pan. Absolutely worth it in my opinion, and in fact I would pay triple to be guaranteed a replica of the same exact feeling. How’s that for an endorsement of quality?
Check out this website for more information on NMT or Trigger Point massage therapists near you.
Be Thrifty or Be Luxe? 